The First Blog

I have a lot of writing, but this is the first blog so here goes... I decided to create this blog about music and its relevance to relationships and dating. I recently attempted to date, again, and ended up once again a bit angry and heart broken. It's been a couple of weeks and I am finally healed, wow it use to take a lot longer I should be thankful.

Yesterday I was sick ,had other woman issues and had spent the previous night text messaging anger to my recent "bad romance." This is the name I gave the situation due to it's timing of Lady Gaga's "bad romance," video, which was on this mornig when I woke up, at which point all my feelings finally were gathered in my mind.

The disappointments, the anger and frustration, they all can be explained in her song, I am once again volunteering to participate and also displaying behavior of "monsters," in my dating cycle. All the experiences I've had, and my dates I have had, come out in my current dating and relationships.

It is not intentional for us to do this to each other, to bring our damage and fears to another relationship, it just happens. It is an indirect, unintentional action that can only be controlled if we realize we are doing it, and work on changing our behavior.

The biggest issue I have with recovering from these instances, although I am taking part of the responsibility, is that I don't think the men understand that when you are a single parent, no matter how much you attempt to be unaffected, you bring those emotions home with you. I am trying to raise a young man without negativity or excessive dissapointment, and the last thing I want, is for him to see me with a broken heart, over and over.

But, on the positive spectrum, he is learning how not to treat a female, over and over. I do not give him detail, but he knows what is going on inside my head and heart; he has great intuition and can understand the nature of human emotion.

I truly believe that many of us that are raising this generation are help breaking the cycle of miss treatment and also poor relationship habits. He has managed to keep the same beautiful, sweet young lady for over a year, and works at it daily, that is more mature and effort than any man other than he, my father, my brother, and God, have ever put into being a part of my life.

He does not give up, because he experiences many people that give up on he and I, and I am very thankful for that lesson. He is a very emotionally mature young man for his age and I wish there were more of him, my age, hahaha!!

I just hope that people remember, the way you behave and treat people, affects everything in their life, not all of us have the ability to leave the experience behind us before we return home.